innermonologues | IC Inbox for Empath

So you were angry at everything? How do you feel now? Still like that a little bit?

[With Squall telling him this in confidence, Auron's now the one trying to give what comfort he can offer.]

I feel less angry... more lost. I dunno. It's mostly just me... still being skittish around people I guess... though I've gotten better... I think I have.

When I first got here. When I didn't really know anyone and I needed help and felt lonely, someone told me something important. That connecting with people and being friends with them involved a certain amount of risk. Mostly because you're putting yourself out there and you may not be accepted. Not only that, but if they leave, it hurts.

But the fact that if you can do that and keep doing it, you'll meet more people and make your life so much richer than it was.

...I dunno. I still kind of miss my barrier. [ He snorts softly. ]

I just feel anxious all the time...but I guess I dont hate it either.... I don't know it's complicated.

Trying to live a good life is complicated. I think you're doing all right.

....You think so?

You're not giving up, even though it is complicated. That's proof enough for me.

I don't like to give up.... even if I complain.

Then that's good enough for me.

[He gives one last squeeze across Squall's shoulders before letting him go.]

I do feel better now. Thanks.

[ Squall scoots closer to Auron. ]

Do you...?

[He's not sure what it is. Is it because Squall didn't take the graceful out and sit up? Is it because he's still stubbornly here? Is it because Auron's still suffering from emotional whiplash?

Something about Squall's actions and what he says does something very odd and rare for Auron. He doesn't want to completely lose his composure, but he does actually hug Squall fiercely and tries. Tries as hard as he can. To cry as quietly as he can.]

[ The sudden act made Squall tense up, but he didn't pull away. This was.... so strange. The only person he's ever really seen crying here was Sora, and as quiet as Auron may be, it wasn't something that was easy to hide.

He wouldn't say anything but.... ]

[It takes a few moments for Auron to compose himself and let go of Squall. He rubs his eyes and sighs.]

Sorry. Kinda had a rough few days.

No... um. It's fine... you can... continue if it helps or something....?

[ Squall sounded stiff and awkward, but his words were genuine. ]

[It's something about the tone that actually gets Auron chuckling. Just a little bit.]

I think I'm okay now. Thanks.

You sure, old man?

I'm sure this time. Thanks for worrying about me, Squall.

...Well you've obnoxiously snuck your way in. It can't be helped now.

So you're saying I inadvertently did the same thing as Sora? Got past your walls, so to speak?

...In a way, yes.

But definitely not the same way. I am not a Captain Friendship.

Mm... no you're not really captain friendship material. You're not quite like Sora...personality wise.

I don't think anyone can be quite like Sora.

He's one of a kind.

[ He snorted softly at that, shifting so he could lean against Auron a little. ]

That's true.

[Once again, there is something comforting in having Squall lean on him like this. As though he could gain visible strength this way.]

He's the one who told me that I had to...concentrate on the people here and not so much on the people who were lost back on Spira. It hurt to hear it, but he's right.

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innermonologues - 2017-10-15 15:59 (UTC) - Expand