[ There's a pause that comes from the Warrior, as if he's uncertain whether or not to mention something. However, this is Squall and the lack of fireworks and sparkles happening because of such a thing is appreciated. ]
I feel that he is still... uncertain. That he feels my feeling something is a mistake towards him.
[ Serious or not, the Warrior glances to Squall briefly before he shakes his head and looks down to his lap. ]
No. [ A pause, he glances to the small kitten crawling up on his lap then, seeking attention. ] This world is difficult to understand for me still. To feel these things... I have never felt them before and I suppose I worry that I am not doing something right.
But I suppose I also worry that I am seeking something that is not meant for me. Because that is not what I was assigned to do.
That... is something you shouldn't worry about... and that's coming from someone who once felt the same... But even when I felt it so deeply that I shouldn't be seeking something like this... Sora made it hard to stop. It's... not a matter of if you're allowed to feel these things or not... it's more of a matter of... letting yourself.
[ Without really meaning to, the Warrior allows a few memories to flicker through the connection. Nothing of great importance, just quick images of Firion trying to shoo the cats away from his bed, cooking in the kitchen, puttering around in the garden while mumbling to himself, sitting with him on the bed when the Warrior was sick for the first time in his life, walking together in the snow and Firion laughing as he tells stories of his home world... all things that the Warrior keeps tucked away, wanting to remember. ]
...something. Perhaps more human in ways that I have not really felt before. Firion does not explode into fireworks as Sora does but... he makes me create things.
[ By that he means, emotional effects happening. ]
Sorry... I should have been a little more clear. The fireworks thing is kind of a Sora thing. It doesn't make Firions feelings for you in return any less. Sora is just... a flashy person.
[ He adds then and, perhaps a little discreetly, there's what seems to be the hint of a smile on the Warrior's lips as he looks down to the kitten in his lap. ]
I suppose... I just wish I knew how to reassure him. That what I am feeling is not... a mistake. I feel that he thinks I could... do better.
I think... maybe it's normal for people finding new feelings in them like feelings of love... I think it's normal for them to feel that way... I still think Sora could do much better than me. But... Sora reassures me that... at the end of the day I'm the one he likes to have around.
So.... maybe tell Firion that. If that's how you feel...let him know you like to see him around.
[ Smiling gently at his fellow fighter's enthusiasm for that, the Warrior falls silent for a moment and looks to the kitten that has decided to curl up on his lap. ]
The longer that I am here, the more stronger the thought that I could forget all of this persists within the back of my mind. I do not remember much prior as it is, but I have been making memories while here and many of them, I wish to keep.
[ Frowning a little, the Warrior sighs then. ]
I did not feel that way before coming here. I did not care if I died, so long as I could do my duty.
I... [ He pauses for a moment, glancing go the kitten in his lap and allowing the tips of his fingers to brush through their fine coat. ] ...it would be nice to remember all of this.
If something ever happens... if I am to leave this world... can you check on Firion? I do not ask you to take care of him but just... to be sure that he is ok initially.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
innermonologues) wrote2017-02-14 09:17 am
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I feel that he is still... uncertain. That he feels my feeling something is a mistake towards him.
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[ it was... mostly out of jest, but there was still a little bit of seriousness to his words. ]
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No. [ A pause, he glances to the small kitten crawling up on his lap then, seeking attention. ] This world is difficult to understand for me still. To feel these things... I have never felt them before and I suppose I worry that I am not doing something right.
But I suppose I also worry that I am seeking something that is not meant for me. Because that is not what I was assigned to do.
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[ Without really meaning to, the Warrior allows a few memories to flicker through the connection. Nothing of great importance, just quick images of Firion trying to shoo the cats away from his bed, cooking in the kitchen, puttering around in the garden while mumbling to himself, sitting with him on the bed when the Warrior was sick for the first time in his life, walking together in the snow and Firion laughing as he tells stories of his home world... all things that the Warrior keeps tucked away, wanting to remember. ]
...something. Perhaps more human in ways that I have not really felt before. Firion does not explode into fireworks as Sora does but... he makes me create things.
[ By that he means, emotional effects happening. ]
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[ He adds then and, perhaps a little discreetly, there's what seems to be the hint of a smile on the Warrior's lips as he looks down to the kitten in his lap. ]
I suppose... I just wish I knew how to reassure him. That what I am feeling is not... a mistake. I feel that he thinks I could... do better.
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So.... maybe tell Firion that. If that's how you feel...let him know you like to see him around.
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It is... [ How to phrase this. ] ...to show affection... it is important, is it not?
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Sometimes I feel that fighting an enemy is much easier than all of this...
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The longer that I am here, the more stronger the thought that I could forget all of this persists within the back of my mind. I do not remember much prior as it is, but I have been making memories while here and many of them, I wish to keep.
[ Frowning a little, the Warrior sighs then. ]
I did not feel that way before coming here. I did not care if I died, so long as I could do my duty.
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I promise.
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