innermonologues | IC Inbox for Empath

I tried to make it, to stop the stupidity and madness, but the pain had gotten to much for me...

That's not your fault, you know that, right?

Maybe not, but it's still annoying. Back home... I wouldn't say I was the strongest, but I fought through everything thrown at me. Here... I just continue to feel weaker and weaker.

Believe me, I definitely understand that feeling.

Like... how can I protect my loved ones or be of any use when so much about this world makes me weak?

But Ventus was the one who pointed out to me... well, why do I have to be, ya know... useful to be valuable? And it takes a really special kind of strength to be able to ask for help, Squall.

I don't need help. I get enough of that... I need to ... I don't know.

[ He let out a frustrated sound. ]

If you don't know what it is you need, then maybe it's not something you need, it's just something you want.

Maybe you're right... But that doesn't make it any less frustrating.

Probably not, no... but I mean... you don't have to try and figure it out alone.

Any time I discuss it with someone I just hear the same thing.

Which is?

That there's more that I can do than trying to protect someone. That they're sorry I feel this way.

Well... there IS more you can do, but that doesn't make how you feel that way any less real or invalid.

If that's how you feel, then that's how you feel. There's nothing wrong with wanting to protect people, Squall. My greatest wish is and has always been to protect my loved ones and home.

But how am I able to protect anyone, when everyone I want to protect is growing stronger before my eyes?

You can protect them in different ways. It's tough seeing people be stronger than you, but it's wonderful too cause they can also keep themselves and others safe. There will always be someone to protect, Squall, it just... may not be in the way we see it at first.

[ Squall just let out another sigh. He wasn't frustrated with Usagi, he was just frustrated with everything. ]

Sorry, probably not something you want to hear, huh?

I don't think anyone is gonna say what you really want to hear though, Squall, cause... well, not being mean but I don't think you know what you want... But no matter what, you don't have to do any of it alone, kay?

All I want... is to be strong enough to protect those I care about. I train every day, I push through any injuries, and it just doesn't help.

We're not stronger alone, Squall.

Edited 2018-08-29 17:23 (UTC)

It's clear that I'm no help to anyone's personal strength either.

I know a couple of people who would say you're wrong.

If I hear Sora's name come out of your mouth I'm going to tell you you're wrong.

I wouldn't be, though.

Sora's strength. His heart. It comes from a lot of people, but the one big focus of his heart comes from Riku. And probably his other friend from home. I have nothing to do with it. In fact I'm probably more of a hindrance.

Mnn... but you'd break his heart if he heard that, you know that, right?

I can't tell you how much you mean to him... [After all, that's how this whole conversation got started, was because of his worry for Squall.] But I can show you.

It might break his heart, but it's a fact. One that no one can deny.

[ Squall lets out another soft sigh..

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