That's just fine, because I won't be able to trust them either. They sound like people who gained the power of magic and instead of fighting, they let the magic control them.
[ He scoffs softly and glances off. ]
What if it had been someone else? What if a child had taken on that task. What if someone far more innocent had done so. Would they have gone for them too? Protecting someone is one thing, Using your power to scare and threaten others is another.
[ There was a small pause. ]
I know I'm not blameless. I could have gone about asking a different way. I only wanted to jostle a few people in hopes that something would come of it. I was in the wrong there, but I don't feel I am here.
[ Squall gives him another stare. He could tell the whole thing was upsetting him, and squall arguing wouldn't make anything better. Demanding that Sora saw that "he was right" or whatever would be childish. Everyone is allowed their opinions and forcing someone in between is just. Cruel. He sighed softly. He almost wants to say something like "Just go to them. They're your friends your family. It's fine" but something told him that would just upset Sora further.]
I don't take death threats lightly, ...but I've already crossed my name off the task board. So your friend is safe. And just so you know, it's not like I was going to hurt her. So she was safe regardless.
[Squall is right to think that would upset Sora if Squall pushed him away. In his eyes both parties are innocent. This was all one big misunderstanding that shouldn't have happened in the first place.
He can't blame Rei and Minako for being who they are. Loving and protecting Usagi came from generations of evil trying to hurt Usagi. To be overprotective is a thing.
And for Squall to not enjoy death threats is only natural as well. Squall had no idea this would happen to him.
Sora's shoulder stop being so tense. He smiles a little up at Squall.]
[ It felt like Sora wa trying to lighten the air, and with all the trouble he's had to deal with so recently... he really shouldn't be piling anything on. ]
[ Squall stares at Sora for a long time. Just... thinking. He just... this is all just frustrating. Instead of standing there, Squall started wandering off. He figured if Sora was that worried he'd choose to either follow or let him walk off. ]
I can't... do anything on my own. I don't mean blah blah friendship crap. I literally can't do anything without being ordered to. How pathetic is that?
[ The more he talked, the gloomier it got around him. He wasn't causing snow. Instead a dark cloud was forming above his head. ] This... was the first thing I picked to do on my own. The first mission I suppose you could say, and I failed it.... and I made some enemies. I don't really... care about that part... but I don't like causing you trouble.
[ Drip. Drip.... the rain was starting to drip over Squall. ]
[Of course Sora chooses to follow Squall like a puppy. His expression grows wide-eyed when Squall speaks and makes that rain cloud. Oh Squall...]
Squall... Just because you picked one dud doesn't mean you should give up. No one can be lucky enough to do things great the first time around.
[He then takes several steps ahead of Squall, turning around to walk backwards infront of Squall so he can look at him as he talks.]
And you can do plenty of things on your own. You're strong and your smart and you care about people. [He points a finger at Squall.] And you can't say I'm wrong about that, because I know it for sure. You go on to do great things. To be a leader and a ton of people rely on you because they know they can. You just haven't grown into that yet.
[You can't say he's lying, Squall. Sora has seen all of the things Leon has accomplished. It's nothing to bat an eye at, the Hallow Bastion Committee is serious business. Sora doesn't know that he draws these parallels to Squall's own world.]
If I can't do one simple job on my own, how can I expect anyone to follow my lead? [ The rain doesn't seem to be stopping any time soon. ]
I don't... need anyone to follow me to depend on me... [ Sora's words did hit him though. How much about him did this boy know? Did he realize that he was recently given the title commander? Did he know about his... comrades? This was so confusing. ]
Getting attached to others is pointless... ( They just end up leaving you when you need them most. )
[Sora just lets it rain, getting him all soaked too. Emotional effects are the last of his concerns right now.]
Leadership is more than just doing jobs right and having people follow you. It's about working together no matter what. It's about believing in the strength of others and yourself.
Being with others, working with them, that's what makes a good leader. You tried to do this job all on your own, right? You don't have to do everything by yourself, Squall.
Look, I can't be you, okay? I can't... I can't depend on anyone. The moment you let someone in, the moment you give them that little piece of trust. Then it's all over. They hurt you. They crush you and you're never the same. I can't... Not anymore... not again.
[ The more Squall talks, the heavier the rain falls around them. ]
[Not anymore? Not again? This is where Sora reaches out to stop Squall from walking, taking a hand to keep him still.]
No one's asking you to be anyone other than you. I... I don't know what happened to you, but I want you to be able to depend on me and to trust me. Even if it's just a little tiny bit, I promise I won't hurt you like you've been hurt before.
[He does something he's done for friends before. He presses a hint of warm trust and appreciation into Squall's palm with dunamis. To try and show Squall how genuine he is about that. He smiles up at Squall and nudges him.]
Try to cheer up, I'm not going anywhere no matter how much you try and get rid of me.
[ That kind of treatment probably works on normal people but the moment Squall felt that warm... genuine feeling from Sora, it was overwhelming. A crackle of thunder was heard above Squall's head, and he stumbled backward, as if trying to put some space between the two of them. ]
[ There was another crackle of thunder, a little less loud this time. Why couldn't he react like a normal person when having warm feelings thrown at him? Why did the thought of Sora destroying his wall scare him? That wall... he built for twelve years, being so easily destroyed... why?]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
innermonologues) wrote2017-02-14 09:17 am
no subject
[ He scoffs softly and glances off. ]
What if it had been someone else? What if a child had taken on that task. What if someone far more innocent had done so. Would they have gone for them too? Protecting someone is one thing, Using your power to scare and threaten others is another.
[ There was a small pause. ]
I know I'm not blameless. I could have gone about asking a different way. I only wanted to jostle a few people in hopes that something would come of it. I was in the wrong there, but I don't feel I am here.
no subject
It doesn't control them. Squall, you don't know them like I do. They just protect their own. They're the most loving people I know.
[He can't answer Squall's questions about if it had been someone else taking the task because he doesn't know.]
All I know is that they were just trying to scare you off their tracks. It's not your fault but it's not theirs either.
[Sora huffs loudly.]
If it's anyone's fault this all happened, it's mine. I took her up there and someone saw her.
no subject
I don't take death threats lightly, ...but I've already crossed my name off the task board. So your friend is safe. And just so you know, it's not like I was going to hurt her. So she was safe regardless.
no subject
He can't blame Rei and Minako for being who they are. Loving and protecting Usagi came from generations of evil trying to hurt Usagi. To be overprotective is a thing.
And for Squall to not enjoy death threats is only natural as well. Squall had no idea this would happen to him.
Sora's shoulder stop being so tense. He smiles a little up at Squall.]
I know. I'm really sorry, Squall.
no subject
[ He sighed and worked his fingers through his own hair, pushing it back. You know, typical cool guy fashion. ]
I'm not cut out for this...
no subject
[Super cool. It makes Sora grin brightly.]
Cut out for what, big speeches about protection and power and friendship?
no subject
[ It felt like Sora wa trying to lighten the air, and with all the trouble he's had to deal with so recently... he really shouldn't be piling anything on. ]
no subject
You sure?
no subject
Don't you have enough troubles? You don't need to pile mine on top.
[ And with that he reached out to ruffle Sora's hair again. His own little way to show he wasn't upset, not with Sora anyway. ]
no subject
I don't mind, just because I'm going through some things doesn't mean no one else is.
[Sora's a natural empathetic person. Despite how he's feeling he still worries about others or wants to listen and help.]
no subject
I can't... do anything on my own. I don't mean blah blah friendship crap. I literally can't do anything without being ordered to. How pathetic is that?
[ The more he talked, the gloomier it got around him. He wasn't causing snow. Instead a dark cloud was forming above his head. ] This... was the first thing I picked to do on my own. The first mission I suppose you could say, and I failed it.... and I made some enemies. I don't really... care about that part... but I don't like causing you trouble.
[ Drip. Drip.... the rain was starting to drip over Squall. ]
no subject
Squall... Just because you picked one dud doesn't mean you should give up. No one can be lucky enough to do things great the first time around.
[He then takes several steps ahead of Squall, turning around to walk backwards infront of Squall so he can look at him as he talks.]
And you can do plenty of things on your own. You're strong and your smart and you care about people. [He points a finger at Squall.] And you can't say I'm wrong about that, because I know it for sure. You go on to do great things. To be a leader and a ton of people rely on you because they know they can. You just haven't grown into that yet.
[You can't say he's lying, Squall. Sora has seen all of the things Leon has accomplished. It's nothing to bat an eye at, the Hallow Bastion Committee is serious business. Sora doesn't know that he draws these parallels to Squall's own world.]
no subject
I don't... need anyone to follow me to depend on me... [ Sora's words did hit him though. How much about him did this boy know? Did he realize that he was recently given the title commander? Did he know about his... comrades? This was so confusing. ]
Getting attached to others is pointless... ( They just end up leaving you when you need them most. )
no subject
Leadership is more than just doing jobs right and having people follow you. It's about working together no matter what. It's about believing in the strength of others and yourself.
Being with others, working with them, that's what makes a good leader. You tried to do this job all on your own, right? You don't have to do everything by yourself, Squall.
no subject
[ The more Squall talks, the heavier the rain falls around them. ]
no subject
No one's asking you to be anyone other than you. I... I don't know what happened to you, but I want you to be able to depend on me and to trust me. Even if it's just a little tiny bit, I promise I won't hurt you like you've been hurt before.
[He does something he's done for friends before. He presses a hint of warm trust and appreciation into Squall's palm with dunamis. To try and show Squall how genuine he is about that. He smiles up at Squall and nudges him.]
Try to cheer up, I'm not going anywhere no matter how much you try and get rid of me.
no subject
What... was that?
no subject
Just some dunamis magic to try and cheer you up. Are you okay??
no subject
[ He stared down at his chest, his hand reaching over his own heart. ]
I don't know... It was... [ Weird? Unfamiliar? Uncomfortable?... warm? ]
no subject
Sora steps up and reaches up to poke Squall's cheek.]
You're not gonna die from it, you big dummy.
[In seriousness,] I mean how it feels, though.
no subject
[ There was another crackle of thunder, a little less loud this time. Why couldn't he react like a normal person when having warm feelings thrown at him? Why did the thought of Sora destroying his wall scare him? That wall... he built for twelve years, being so easily destroyed... why?]
no subject
[He just wants Squall to be okay. Seeing him like this really hurts.]
no subject
What am I supposed to do?
no subject
[He imitates this himself. Inhale, and smile.]
I know it can feel really scary opening up to people. But you should try thinking of it like building you up, not breaking you down!
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)